How to survive Eskom load shedding 101

Ah Eskom, you’ve done it again. What came before candlelight? Electricity. How many people does it take to change a light bulb? None, the electricity’s off. Despite being ever so slightly disgruntled with their forced retreat back into the dark ages, South Africans are retaining their sense of humour and the Eskom jokes are providing plenty of light relief. We’ve decided to provide a flicker of fun by providing you with some handy hints for surviving the electricity apocalypse.

  1. Surprise your lady/man with an impromptu candlelit supper: Claim that you actually phoned Eskom to organise the power cuts to create the ultimate romantic evening. Your sweetheart is bound to be impressed with the power you wield, not to mention the elegance of your table arrangement. The only problem is how to cook the dinner, which leads us to our next point…
  2.  Switch to a raw food diet: Thanks Eskom for forcefully encouraging us all to adopt a healthier lifestyle. Carrots, celery sticks and cabbage don’t require cooking – perfect solution if you have rabbit-morphing aspirations.
  3. Play games: Hide and seek will have an extra element of adventure in the dark.
  4. Make your own survival snack pack: If you’re not into rabbit food, then make yourself a little Eskom-friendly lunch – sandwiches, chocolates, a torch…
  5. Become an amateur astronomer: Thanks to Eskom the night sky has never looked brighter. Spend some time lying on the grass looking at the great cosmos beyond. Learn the star signs so you can impress your friends and family.
  6. Brush up your ghost stories: Total darkness is the ideal environment for spooky story sharing. Have you heard the one about the ghost of the dead power station? It’s a little wet.
  7. Start an impromptu A Capella group: move over Glee, there’s a new troop in town. Possible names include: Darkness reigns, Dame’s Angels, Who turned off the lights, It’s raining coal and Your Mom Eskom.
  8. Hook up a hamster: In cartoons, a super-charged hamster is always placed on a wheel to generate enough power to keep a PC running. At this rate, it could be a viable option.
  9. Shadow puppets by torchlight: Can you make a bunny? A T-Rex? A flying pig/ ninja? Perfect way to while away a few hours.
  10. Blanket forts: Because they’re the best. Build a massive one in the lounge and hang a torch from the make-shift sheet ceiling to provide a central light source.
  11. Drink alcohol. Develop Eskom drinking games – every time someone comes up with a good power pun, they get a shot. Find out how many suburbs have the lights out simultaneously and drink a sympathy shot for each.

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